September 26, 2011 6 Comments
William Faulkner said
… the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
Faulkner was right … the job that we do is a key to how much we enjoy our life, and how much we actually love our job is therefore at the core of our love for life, the universe and everything.
In that case, a great job can be better than sex.
Here are 20 reasons why …
1. You don’t have to get undressed to do it.
2. You can do it with different people every day and not get into trouble with your spouse.
3. You get paid to do it without running the risk of being arrested.
4. You can tell your mother about it without her being shocked.
5. You can do it without getting breathless and sweaty.
6. You don’t have an uncontrollable desire to fall asleep afterwards.
7. You can keep your shoes and socks on and not be considered weird.
8. You can be great at it no matter what size you are.
9. You can do some of it on your own without going blind.
10. Families can do it together without running afoul of social services.
11. Parents can tell their children about it without embarrassment.
12. You can do it in a team without having to belong to a private club.
13. Skin colour is irrelevant to reputation.
14. You can go to a university and learn about the theory.
15. You can rise every morning like clockwork to do it, without chemical help
16. When you get older, people will pay you to advise them on how to do it better.
17. You don’t need the Kama Sutra to be able to do it in varying positions
18. You can do it vigorously even with a bad back or weak joints.
19. You can do it for at least 8 hours straight without having to take recovery breaks in between.
20. You don’t have to worry about suitable protection beyond key-man insurance.
And 20 reasons why a great job and sex are similar …
1. You can find yourself under (and over) some interesting people.
2. The older you get the less people believe you can perform well.
3. Just doing it harder is not as beneficial as doing it smarter.
4. Oral skills are considered critical.
5. You need the weekends to catch up.
6. The better you are at it the more satisfying it is.
7. The more you do it, the more you will be able to talk about it when you are old.
8. Everybody always thinks that they are better at it than they are really.
9. You never forget your first one.
10. Preparation is the key to success.
11. When you get help from a partner you need to show genuine gratitude.
12. Creativity and innovation are keys to long term success.
13. There are accessories available that can help make it easier and more fun.
14. Being specific about what you need removes uncertainty.
15. Everyone exaggerates about their experience when being interviewed.
16. You need to be physically fit to do it well.
17. There is a risk of a coronary if you over-exert yourself.
18. Moonlighting can get you fired.
19. Foreign assignments can be rewarding but can also be dangerous.
20. Forced separation can be expensive.
And if you really believe that any job is better than sex, when it comes to sex you obviously aren’t doing it right.